| Thursday, January 12, 2006 |
| The "M" Word |
Prior to reading this post the readers should note the author's intent is not to be inflammatory or cause embarrassment to shed some light on issues that, as a youth worker, do come up. If the church's stance on sex is not explicitly defined then, as the Constitution has been treated, our chanting, "Don't until married," may leave itself open to interpretation.
In a recent discussion with a friend the topic of lust came about. This unnamed friend had worked for an unnamed camp whose director, who is well beyond their youth, informed them that any lustful thoughts or actions should be dealt with openly. But if they did struggle and shared it (like the camp requested they did) then their ability to return to this camp as leadership would be in question. In other words this camp is saying, "Tell us your very private struggles with pornography, lust, and/or masturbation and we will (probably) fire you." Nice.
We know that pornography is wrong- being pictures or videos that cause us to lust after men or women that we are not in a biblical relationship with. Yet when does lust (apart from pornography) actually begin? For instance, we have already determined that it is wrong to look at a woman and lust, Christ said to think lustfully about a woman is the same as adultery (Matt.5:27), but, the question has been put to me, what if I make up a woman/man (if you are a woman) and think lustfully upon my imagination? That man or woman does not exist so is it a sin to think of them lustfully? If you think it is still a sin then why? What if the thoughts take place in make-believe marriage relationship? Is that okay?
And if you think that the possibilities that were just raised as possible "righteous loopholes" are okay how far are you willing to take that? Is it okay to read dirty stories since the pictures are only in your mind? To look at dirty cartoons? They aren't real people so is that okay? But is that dwelling on what is pure (Philippians 4:8)?
Teens today see their peers getting sexually involved earlier and earlier. The average sexual experience takes place between twelve and thirteen now. A decade earlier it was fourteen. In the mid-eighties it was sixteen. Our culture is sex-ridden and our teens want specific answers to what was once a tabboo topic and is now discussed VERY openly in school classrooms around the nation. This openness, right or wrong, has caused teens today to be much more willing to ask questions of youth pastors, pastors, and mentors about sex- how will the church respond to this pressure? We could leave it up to the pastors to talk about their own personal convictions (and option that could lend itself dangerously to more legalistic or liberal perspectives) or we could attempt to set some official parameters on this thing.
So we can see that this issue of lust is not quite as clear cut as we would sometimes make it to be. Some may consider all of these questions to be legalistic or inappropriate in and of themselves but I do wonder of my critics, how old are you? Married? In touch with youth culture? Do you recall at sixteen the raging hormones and your church simply saying, "Don't," to sex and masturbation? Did you ever struggle with it? It is difficult to listen to the words of "wisdom" from someone who has never struggled with a particular sin. They simply sound like the professor who gave you the steps to building a mega-church but never pastored a church beyond the attendance of 100. They have not fought the battle nor are they fighting it so they should probably remain quiet on that particular subject. |
posted by D.M. @ 10:38 AM  |
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| "Memento Mori."- Remeber that you will also die. |
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| Saying what needs to be said but everyone is afraid to say. |
| About Me |
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Name: D.M.
Home: Overland Park, Kansas, United States
About Me: I've lived at least 5 years in the last two but come out. After trials of fire and flame we are marching on and if we don't take the world we'll sure as heck die trying.
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After one of the most difficult ministry years of my life I made it back to another fall. I hope my posts find you well and encourage thought and discussion. |
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